Pics from the Road

I know I haven't written in a while and that a few pictures is not a sufficient substitute for an actual post, but this is cool, I promise. I'm on a little road trip with my family and we have been driving through barren farmland for a few hours. The bad thing about this is that the view hardly changes and it sometimes feels like we're never going to see civilization again. The good thing is that every once in a while, we come across a creepy house or abandoned storage unit. This makes for great photography. Here are a few pictures that I've taken so far, for your vicarious viewing enjoyment. 

This Is Not a Metaphor

So. I just came back from seeing the "midnight" (which was actually at 9 PM) premiere of the movie "The Fault in Our Stars" and let me tell you, I've never been more satisfied with a book-turned-movie in my life, (I'm not including Harry Potter, that's a whole other story). Anyway, I was so incredibly impressed with this movie, because never before have I cried during a movie I saw in the theater. Obviously, I've cried watching movies, thank you "A Walk to Remember," but it was always while I was watching it alone, at home. I find it awkward to cry in public. But this is a movie that warrants tears in mass quantities. When I read the book, I didn't cry throughout the whole thing until I finished it. Promptly after closing the book, I burst into tears that lasted profusely for about 8 to 10 minutes. About the same thing happened with the movie. I was so overwhelmed by the whole situation, and the fact that I was finally witnessing the movie version of one of my favorite books, that I couldn't feel any emotion but excitement. And then when I did start to fully engage, all my emotions rewired themselves into nervous laughter. It wasn't until the final scenes where I really started to let it all out. I wasn't the only one either; the entire theater was sniffling and laughing and crying at the same time, including my friend who was sitting next to me. You can't blame them, though, because the movie was absolutely beautiful, and, dare I say it, pretty perfect. I can't say too much without giving away key plot points, but I was immensely satisfied with everything that went into this movie. Shailene Woodley is the perfect Hazel Grace Lancaster, and Ansel Elgort was the ABSOLUTE BEST Augustus Waters. Nat Wolff as Isaac was also amazing, and the cinematography and editing and special(ish) effects were executed astonishingly. I am so in love with this book, and this movie, and anything and everything having to do with it, (except for maybe the t-shirts. "Okay? Okay" is starting to get overused, except within the movie in which it is used sparingly but effectively and I love it). The soundtrack was phenomenal, and the settings were absolute perfection. I'm running out of extremely positive adjectives that I can use to express my feelings about this movie, so I will end this post here. But to all of you contemplating seeing this movie or reading this book, I recommend you do it at the next possible showing. It's one of those few movies that actually make you feel like the book was brought to life accurately, like those characters you pictured in your head are right there in front of you, saying the words you loved so much and doing the things you know will make you laugh or even cry. It's a movie worth more than the box office sums, or critic reviews. It's a story that lodges itself in your heart, and stays there, cheesy analogy be damned.

P.S. - Having just seen this movie, my friends and I are all very conflicted. We loved this movie so so so much, but we also feel dangerously empty and depressed. It's because the movie makes the characters feel so personal, like you could easily imagine yourself in their positions and what it would feel like to be so close to someone with a terminal illness. It scared us to go to that place where we thought about what would happen if one of us had cancer or even died. It's THAT kind of movie.

Sometimes I Want to Hide For 30 Years

Lately, I've been feeling a lot of stress. Which isn't so unusual in theory, given that I'm an American high school junior, but it's starting to feel a little overwhelming. I am currently preparing to audition for the highest level guitar class offered at my school, which I don't think I'm prepared for, which makes me feel like I can't do anything right and am totally inadequate. That, on top of all my AP exams and standardized tests, extracurricular activities, and oh yeah, prom, which is this Saturday, are really starting to get to me. I haven't cleaned my room in weeks, and it's giving me anxiety but I don't have time to clean it thoroughly the way I want to. My outfits and my hair and makeup are going to shit little by little every day, which just makes me feel great (insert a heavy dose of sarcasm here). I just tried to read an essay that I wrote MYSELF in French class, and I couldn't even get through it all without stumbling over the words. And I wrote the damn thing, what the hell is wrong with me? For the rest of the school year, I have one thing or another, (or multiple) to worry about every single day, and I don't know if I can get through it all without a few nervous breakdowns. Tonight, my family and I were going out to get frozen yogurt after my guitar concert, and I started crying because I couldn't stop thinking about how impressive and talented everyone else was and how I didn't measure up at all. I think everyone thinks I'm going insane, and maybe I am, but I can't help it. There is so much on my plate right now, and I don't know how I'm going to begin to get through it.

Tunes on Tunes

I am procrastinating homework. And one way I like to occupy myself is to blog, which I don't do often enough. I haven't made a post about music in a while, and I've been listening to a lot of new stuff lately that I want to share. If my writing at any point gets kind of loopy or incoherent, you'll have to forgive me because my room is currently OPPRESSIVELY HOT AND STUFFY.

Alrighty then. Here we go. :)

"Do It 2 Me" by Allstar Weekend - This song is so catchy, and even though it's obviously about sex, I don't really care. This entire album is full of catchy songs that I could literally listen to over and over. It's not new, but it's darn good!

"Chelsea" by The Summer Set - Again, not a new song, but SO GOOD. It's made even better by the fact that it was written for a girl named Chelsea, who happens to be Chelsea Kane from the show Baby Daddy, and she appeared in the music video, which I thought was especially cute. Then, when she was on Dancing With the Stars, they had to pick a sentimental song, and she chose this one. So cute, so cute. :)

"You're Not the One" by Sky Ferreira - I heard this song on Tumblr awhile ago, and I had saved a screenshot of it to remind myself that it was worth listening to again. When I found the screen shot, and listened to it to remember, I was justifiably surprised. I had always thought that Sky Ferreira made quirkier music, but this song is the perfect mix of bubblegum pop meets Marina and the Diamonds angst. I love it.

"I Blame Myself" by Sky Ferreira - As I was looking up the video for "You're Not the One" I stumbled upon the video for this song, and let me tell you, it is probably the epitome of "cool kid". It sounds like a song straight out of the 80's, (a decade I personally identify with for some unknown reason), heavy on the keyboard and synthesizers and it's just so cool and I love it. I so wish I had known about it, and Sky Ferreira, before I spent all my iTunes gift card money.

"God Only Knows" by MKTO - I first heard this song on YouTube after watching the music video for "Classic" and seeing the video for this song in the sidebar. The rhythm of the song is romantic, but dance-able, if you're into that (which I am), and the video is clever, to say the least.

"Girls Chase Boys" by Ingrid Michaelson - The first line in the song is "All the broken hearts in the world still beat, let's not make it harder than it has to be." On top of that, the actual music which accompanies the lyrics is not gloomy at all, in fact it's lighthearted and head-bop-inducing. If that doesn't constitute endless replays, I don't know what will.

"Fancy (feat. Charli XCX)" by Iggy Azalea - I don't normally gravitate towards rap or hip-hop music at all, and at first, the only reason I bought this song was because Charli XCX's part was really cool. But after a whole week of listening to this song within a playlist of 10 songs, Iggy's rapping started to grow on me. It's entertaining and funky and cool, and I think I like it. :)

"Wild Heart" by The Vamps - Words cannot express how much I wish this band's debut album would be released in the US. This song is available on American iTunes. BUT THAT'S IT. It's not that they're some lyrically genius, musical masterminds, but their songs are really good as far as pop music goes. And I don't like being denied things because of the country I live in, like c'mon America, get your shit together. Please and thanks.

"I See Fire" by Peter Hollens - THIS SONG IS BEAUTIFUL. Ed Sheeran did a cover of it for The Hobbit soundtrack, and I heard a remixed version of that cover on Tumblr, so I looked it up on iTunes. This is (I think) the original version of the song. If you don't like slow songs, it won't even matter because you will love this song. It sounds like the kind of thing you would hear on the Scottish Highlands during a medieval war. It's powerful musically and lyrically and it gives me chills.

"Dernière Danse" by Indila - This is a French pop song that we listened to in French class throughout this past month for a song analysis assignment, and as soon as I heard it, I distinctly remember thinking "I am so going to buy this song." I fell in love. It's so poetic, if you know what the lyrics are saying, and even if you don't have a clue, you can still appreciate the fact that the song is arranged nearly perfectly.

"Disconnected" by 5 Seconds of Summer - I bought the physical copy of 5 Seconds of Summer's EP "She Looks So Perfect" from Target as soon as I could, and I couldn't have been happier about it. This song was a physical copy exclusive track, so I had no idea what I was in for (I had listened to the other tracks on YouTube before buying the CD, just to make sure it was worth it)(It was so worth it). Disconnected was co-written with Alex Gaskarth, the lead singer of another band I love, All Time Low, and you can hear his influence in the tone of the song. It works out perfectly though, because the All Time Low influence mixed with the 5SOS spin creates such an amazing song. The EP only has 4 songs on it, and it's all I listen to in the car. As I listen to it now, I feel like I should be driving.

"Heartache on the Big Screen" by 5 Seconds of Summer - I remember finding the leaked cut of this song on YouTube about a week before it actually came out, and being absolutely blown away. As soon as I heard it, I was so angry that I couldn't buy it immediately. It's one of those songs that you instantly know will be stuck in your head for days. I love it not only for that, but also for the clever extended analogy, referring to a relationship gone bad in terms of movies.

"She Looks So Perfect" by 5 Seconds of Summer - This is the band's first single from the EP, and it is so much fun. From the beginning of the song, I find myself wanting to belt out every lyric. The video is also really cool, and kind of liberating because, while they have people in their underwear dancing throughout the video, they're not just stereotypical "pretty" people, they're people of all shapes, sizes, and colors, and that's awesome. Oh yeah, and the lead singer's vibrato is TO DIE FOR.

"Magic" by Coldplay - All I'm going to say about this song is that if you can't picture this being played at your wedding, what's wrong with you?

"Don't Stop" by 5 Seconds of Summer - I'm sorry I'm including so many songs from this band.... Actually, I'm not sorry, because I think I love them, and I'm not apologizing for that because life is too short to apologize for the things you love. But anyway, this is the absolute newest song they've released, and it's only currently available for purchase everywhere but North America, which sucks, but at least they released the lyric video for it on their YouTube channel so the whole world can listen to it. Thank God, too, because that song is damn good. And again, the lead singer's vibrato makes me want to die and burst into tears and laugh until I cry because it is so SO good.

Oppression in the Neo-Consumer Age

The older I get, the more I look around and see the injustices of modern society. I live in America, so I can only speak from an American perspective, but there is definitely something wrong going on here. 

Recently, for my English class, we had to create an essay question in which we contemplated a controversial subject. One of my good friends' question was "How does dress coding in schools enforce rape culture?" And ever since then, it got me thinking about all the different ways sexism is perpetuated in our modern society. It's the underlying message in songs, advertisements, movies, television shows, and of course, clothing. The more I paid attention, the angrier I got. I bought a Glamour magazine, and one of the cover stories was about what bathing suits guys prefer girls to wear. It made me sick. Why does it matter what a guy thinks about my bathing suit if I feel good about it? Women should dress for themselves, not men, but that seems to be a fact we continually forget or ignore.  

The reason I am writing this post today is because I was just made to change my clothes. By my parents. I came down wearing really cute red shorts with a 5 inch inseam that my mother bought me last spring, and white short-sleeved shirt from H&M. My dad saw me and told me I couldn't be dressed skimpier if I tried. I don't know what century he's living in, but it's like he hasn't looked around since the 80's. He honestly believes people don't dress any skimpier. And the worst part is my mom backed him up even though she bought me the shorts. So, because it's Mother's Day I changed to avoid conflict but not without an underlying resentment towards my parents. The skirt I put on instead does not go all the way to my knees but if I wear it low enough on my waist it seems to. The shorts offered better coverage overall, but they're shorter than the skirt so my parents had a problem with them. 

It just makes me so angry that I still have to bend to the archaic ideals of my parents. The problem is that by enforcing such BS rules, we are no closer to achieving equality between men and women. If women have to continually watch out for what they're wearing in fear of men's reactions, we are no better than we were 50, 100, 150 years ago. And it makes me so angry. 

What Katy Perry, Michelle Obama, and Oprah Have in Common

Feminism, in past decades, had a negative connotation, often being referred to as "the other F word." Feminists were assumed to be people who didn't shave or wear makeup and hated men and were thought of as "most likely lesbians." And God knows what men who were feminists went through, the select few of them that were actually around. But recently, the feminist movement is starting to be seen in a new light. As more and more women rise to powerful positions, and make their voices heard, females as a whole start to break stereotypes and rise above the preconceived notion of what a woman should be. People like Hillary Clinton, Angelina Jolie, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, and even Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga are becoming the faces of the new generation of women, striving to achieve bigger and better things, and empower other women to strive for successes of their own, as well.

What most people seem to misunderstand is that the whole point of feminism is not to shun men, or belittle them the way they've belittled us. It's to achieve great things on our own, without stooping to an unsightly level, whilst also helping other women succeed, and feel powerful, too. We can't move forward if we're so focused on avenging ourselves against the wrongdoings of men. We must take the higher road in order to see the effects of our hard work. Feminism also doesn't mean we can't appreciate and accept acts of chivalry. You can enjoy it when a man buys you dinner or holds the door for you, and still be a feminist. Being a feminist just means you believe in and fight for equal rights between men and women. By that definition, you should be able to enjoy being doted upon, while also being able to dote on someone else, without the stigma of it being your "place" to dote on a man.

On one hand, we have people like Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Oprah, who use their political and business positions to influence the situations surrounding them, in order to achieve a goal that benefits the greater good. But they don't just work solely for women. The initiatives and programs they organize and head, such as the Bill, Hillary, and Chelsea Clinton Foundation, and the Childhood Obesity Action Plan, (created by Michelle Obama), have goals through which they wish to help as many people as possible, of any gender. In that way, they are not only fighting for feminine equality, but human equality, which is feminism at its most basic.

And how can we forget the contributions of Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga? These fierce females broke the mold of the common pop star, paving the way for the crazy antics of people like Miley Cyrus, post-Hannah Montana. Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are known for their outrageous and elaborate outfits on the red carpet, and have proven to women that you don't have to dress a certain way to get attention or respect. They taught girls that you can be outlandish and crazy and colorful and some people will think you're strange, but other people will think you're awesome, and those are the people worth your time. Ke$ha is infamous for having racy, raucous lyrics that take specific sexual jabs at men that most people are uncomfortable with. It's kind of ironic that a woman gets so much hate for lyrics that are nearly identical in message to lyrics of popular male artists, like 2Chainz, or Chris Brown, or even Justin Bieber. Ke$ha is literally giving these and all other men a taste of their own medicine, making them feel singled out and uncomfortable, the way their songs make women feel. And of course she gets hate, because she's innovative and clever with her messages. I completely admire her for being so blunt and raunchy, because if she didn't do it, someone else would've, because it was bound to happen sometime. These icons of pop culture have progressed the feminist movement by making people question the traditional roles and molds of women, by breaking them vehemently and extraordinarily.

In essence, feminism is necessary because women need to feel just as comfortable and powerful in their own skin as men do. We need to feel okay with or without makeup, dressed up or dressed down, singing one lyric or another. We need others to recognize our power and influence, and respect it. We need feminism because it's time that all people realize that it is beneficial to a more progressive society. It's time we get over our archaic notions of gender roles, and accept each other with all of our flaws and talents and give each other the respect we deserve as decent humans, no matter the gender.

GLEE'S 100TH EPISODE

I think I've waited a sufficiently long amount of time to write this given how excited I am about Glee's 100th Episode. Every US time zone should have seen it by now, but just in case I will tag this post with a spoiler alert. :)

Anyway, this episode of Glee was magical, to say the least. The original cast (most of them, anyway,) returned to sing some of their "greatest hits," if you will. Quinn, Puck, Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt, Sam, Tina, Santana, Britney S. Pierce, Mike Chang (the two-name Asian wonder,) and a few of the best guest stars, including Holly Holiday (Gwenyth Paltrow) and April Rhodes (Kirsten Chenoweth). There was a Diva-Off, Coach Sylvester shenanigans, a small but not too heart-wrenching Finn tribute, and beautiful re-renditions of some of the best songs from the show. My favorite by far was the redone version of "Defying Gravity" sung by Lea Michele, Amber Riley, and Chris Colfer, (Rachel, Mercedes, and Kurt, respectively). It was absolutely, positively perfect in every way and if I had any left over iTunes money I would buy it in a heart beat and maybe even the ringtone, as well. Actually, scratch that. I will buy the entire album for the episode (because you know there is one, right?) and I will download it and I will enjoy it for years to come and listen to it as I'm driving home from somewhere I hate (cough cough school) and feel all better. That's what I will do. And when this season of Glee ends, (which it will, and then the show ends forever - hold me while I sob,) I will buy the DVD set of the seasons that I don't have (seasons 4 and 5, to be exact), because Netflix cruelly takes away shows after a while, (thanks for that, by the way, I was just about to watch Teen Wolf).

Well, I guess I'm done with my ramble. For now. I just can't right now. I just can't.

PS - CHACE CRAWFORD IS IN THIS EPISODE AS QUINN'S BOYFRIEND AND I ABOUT DIED WHEN I SAW HIM BECAUSE HELLO GOSSIP GIRL FEELS. I CAN'T.

The Day We Thought We Were Irish-Italian

Yesterday, my friends and I went to a shopping center/downtown to celebrate the birthday of one of these said friends. Her birthday happens to fall on St. Patrick's Day, so naturally, this town center was having a St. Patrick's Day festival, complete with shamrock clothing, green wigs, and so much beer you could smell it in the air. We're underage, so of course, we didn't drink, but we definitely took advantage of the free cotton candy. Anyway, that's not entirely why I'm writing this post. I'm also writing to recount the day we had, because it was by far one of the most fun days I've had in a while. It was so nice to get a little dressed up for once, and spend some time outdoors window-shopping with my friends. We are so swamped with school work and extracurricular responsibilities, we hardly ever have time to just have fun together anymore. But yesterday, we made it an unsaid point to talk about anything other than school. We walked around with our hair blowing maniacally in the wind and took an unnecessary amount of pictures, had lunch at the insanely posh Vapiano's Italian restaurant, looked around at Anthropologie and cried at how expensive everything was while also taking advantage of their free Mason Jar Iced Tea (I took the jar home, by the way), tried on purple lipstick and green eyeliner at Sephora, and  got some ridiculously delicious gelato. The weather was beautiful, the crowd was just the right amount of cheerful, and they blocked off the roads within the town center so we walked in the street, which made me feel totally badass. I was so grateful to be there with some of my favorite people, and I really wish there was a way to ditch school completely and just have moments like these forever. :)


PS. - We originally thought the huge Irish flag hanging from the stage thing in the middle of the town center was an Italian flag, until we realized it was St. Patrick's Day in two days and that we are incredibly stupid. That, and the fact that the only food we ate that day was Italian, is why we thought we were Irish-Italian for the day.

Vogue-ing out in front of a flag mural

Lunch (which was homemade and delicious and expensive)

Looking fierce with her new round sunglasses (c'est adorable!)

Caught lusting after unattainable clothes 

Lost but unwilling to admit it ;)

Staring dreamily at the theater marquee 

Valentines Day (And All That Jazz)

So as we all know, yesterday was Valentine's Day (or as the legion of bitter people refer to it, Single's Awareness Day,) and all things considered, it went pretty well, for me anyway. (I hope it went well for you, too, anonymous blog reader.) Anyway, I spent the day with my friends, walking around downtown where we window-shopped, drank fancy coffee (iced lattés,) and discussed all the boys we hate. We didn't have school because, for the second time in my life, the accumulation of snow is waist-level and therefore "inclement." Sucks for the school system, but fantastic for students who would rather not graph functions and analyze rhetoric devices for Valentine's Day. Even though none of my friends have boyfriends, we still managed to make sure Valentine's Day was filled with (amicable) love. Because, let's be real here. At the end of the day, all we have is our friends, and I'm perfectly ok with that. **Insert some cliché friendship quote here.**

Save Your Youth For Later : High School Junior Edition

As (high school) midterms loom closer and closer, more and more of my peers are starting to lose it. Not in the literal, mental-breakdown kind of way, but in the "I have so much anxiety I might just explode" kind of way. As juniors, we have to make sure everything we do is impressive, if we ever hope to get into our dream colleges.It's a tough act to handle, because on top of juggling actual school work (which, admittedly, gets pretty overwhelming sometimes,) we also have to maintain leadership positions, actively volunteer within our community, and participate in at least one sport or club, if not more, (and in most cases, mine included, it's definitely more). Midterms are stressful because they factor in to your semester grades, and if you bomb them, you're in trouble. At such a young age we are expected to make sure our futures are solidified by excelling at everything, and as worth it as it is to get into college and finally begin the journey to the career of our choice, it's actually kind of sad to think of all the experiences we're missing out on while we're focusing so hard on making our resumes competitive. How many of us actually enjoy ALL of the extracurricular activities we participate in? Nearly everyone I know is a member of at least one club or is doing a particular sport solely based on how good it will look on college applications. That's more time given that we don't necessarily have, committed to something we aren't even passionate about.  The closer and closer I get to college, the more I almost resent it, because the idea of college has dictated my entire life ever since I was about 11 years old. That's 6 whole years and counting of my childhood, spent stressing out about college. There has to be a rule against that, somewhere, hopefully.  My parents observe the mental state of me and my peers and the exhaustion and anxiety we put ourselves through, and wonder what changed between their generation and ours, because they were never like this. I can only imagine what my children will be forced to endure in order to succeed. It's a scary thought, that's for sure.

**I am the original author of this post, but it will also be posted on Huffington Post Teen. 

A Catch-All of Things I Haven't Said ;)

So, remember a few posts ago I said there was going to be lots to come in terms of content on this blog? Well, obviously, I've been slacking, so to make up for it, here is a mass post of all the things I've been meaning to tell you all about. :) P.S. - For once, all the pictures featured in this post belong to me, and are not Internet-generated. Props for utilizing a camera!

First of all, let's throw it waaayyy back to early November, when I went to a Paramore concert with my sister and cousin, because that was one of the most magical nights of my life, hands down. It was just us, no parents in sight (that belonged to us, anyway,) which was a first for us, because we are lame, sheltered American children. But anyway, we got there like an hour or so early because we were afraid of lines and ticket complications and whatnot. But once we got there, we were so buzzed with energy and excitement. That's the thing about concerts - the anticipation of it is almost as good as the actual show. Once the show actually started, though, I was in a complete state of bliss. Hellogoodbye and Metric opened for Paramore, and they were hardcore awesome, if I do say so myself. Paramore, however, was phenomenal. Every single person in the crowd was up on their feet, dancing and singing along. I'm proud to say that I sang along, at the top of my lungs, to every single song, even the ones I wasn't completely familiar with. At one point, they were singing one song and went straight into "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac right in the middle, and then went back to their original song. It was kind of totally awesome. Essentially, what you should get from this is that I am totally in love with Paramore in all their laser-light-show glory, and if you go to one concert for the rest of your life, it should be a Paramore show, especially because Hayley is really good at engaging the crowd, in a way that makes it seem like she's your best friend talking to you in the middle of a huge amphitheater. Gotta love it!

Final bows at the Paramore show. They showered the floor crowd with green and yellow balloons from the ceiling and it was awesome. 

Secondly, let's talk about Thanksgiving. I hope you all had a great day that day, even though it was like a month and a half ago. I sure did, even though it was at my house and holidays at my house are the best kind of stressful, but stressful nonetheless. We started our day trying to catch a little bit of the Macy's parade on TV (which I love with all my heart, I can't explain it but I do,) before getting ready to go serve dinner at a local church for people who, for whatever reason, couldn't have a meal at home. It was our second year doing that, and every year, I love it, because I feel like, of all days, what better day to go out of your way to help people? Anyway, once we got back home, my extended family started to arrive, and that's when the fun began. It was kind of awkward at first, because we all hadn't seen each other for a while, but after a while, we all started talking and goofing around, and it was, for lack of a better word, heartwarming. All of us are pretty grown-up now, in regards to the cousins, so we're past our awkward stages and can actually have conversations, which is awesome. Cousins in general are awesome, am I right? Anyway, that was probably one of the best Thanksgivings I've ever had and again, I hope everyone reading this had just as much of a fantastic day as I did. 

P.S. - I took this pic, so I'm not in it, but here's my family, just to give you an indication of the environment in which I was raised. ;) 

Alright, moving on. :) The next thing I wanted to discuss was my trip to New York City for my birthday. We went about a week after Thanksgiving,  on December 6-7th. We began the day by getting up at ungodly hours, (we being me, my mom, and my best friend/neighbor). We left for the airport around 7:30 AM. Once we got there, we were in a state of excited delirium. It was rainy when we took off, but blindingly sunny above the clouds, which was surreal. Once we got to NYC, we checked into our hotel, which was right around the corner from Times Square, sufficiently fancy, and perfectly New York-ish. We then headed straight for the streets for a good ol' round of sightseeing. That first day, we visited the Times Square American Eagle, M&M World, the world's largest Forever 21, the Disney Store with a princess castle inside, and had lunch at Planet Hollywood, (which was magical and awesome inside and I loved it so much). After we tired ourselves out, we went back to the hotel to rest for a little while and get ready for the evening. Because the trip was my birthday present, we were going to have a birthday dinner and see a Broadway show. We walked from our hotel to Restaurant Row (the apparent name of a strip of fabulous restaurants,) where we had a superfancyandgrownup Italian dinner at a cute little restaurant called Latanze. After dinner, we walked around the city a little to work off the food, and ended up at Rockefeller Plaza, where we of course took pictures in front of the enormous Christmas tree. After that we took a cab to the theater to see Cinderella on Broadway. Even though our seats were way in the back and you kind of had to focus in on the stage to see, it was epic, and I don't use that word often or lightly. It was truly spectacular and the entire production was magical, from the cast, to the costumes, to the effects (which blew my mind completely). After a whirlwind day like that, we went back to the hotel and fell asleep in anticipation of the next day. The next morning, we woke up and got dressed quickly so we could get breakfast as fast as possible so as to not miss out on one single minute of the city. We ended up spending the day walking the entire length of 5th Avenue, seeing/witnessing Rockefeller Center, Macy's, The Empire State Building, Tiffany's, Harry Winston, NBC Studios, Trump Tower, Sephora, The American Girl Store, Papyrus, FAO Schwartz, the very edge of Central Park, the Apple Store, and of course, the New York City Public Library, among other things that I can't remember off the top of my head. At around 5-ish, we went back to our hotel to collect our bags and make our way to the airport to go home. I'm so lucky and blessed to have had this opportunity, because it's literally been my dream since forever to sight-see around New York City. The one thing I realized about the city, however, is that as magical as it is, it is more magical on TV. We all agreed at the end of the trip that while we loved it, we are definitely not cut out for a New York City lifestyle. I don't mean to sound ungrateful at all, because I am totally grateful. I now know, though, that even though I used to want to live in New York City, I don't think I'm cut out for it, as sad as it is. I would go back for vacation in a heartbeat, though. Most definitely. Especially because they apparently have Gossip Girl tours. ;) 

Times Square baby! <3

After the excitement of New York, and my birthday (which was on the 10th,) the next thing to get hyped about was Christmas! I love Christmas, not just because of the presents (although, let's not kid ourselves, we all love the presents,) but also because of the time I get to spend with my family, the universally-acknowledged Christmas breakfast of cinnamon rolls and bacon, swimming around in a sea of wrapping paper, getting dolled up in a new Christmas outfit. It literally makes me want to sprawl out on the floor and smile up at the ceiling whilst belting "Jingle Bell Rock" just thinking about it. This past Christmas was the best Christmas I can remember. We went to my mom's brother's apartment for dinner, and because it was an apartment and there wasn't a whole lot of room to spread out, all of us kind of had to be around each other and engage in conversation, which, again, was way better than it used to be. I also made everyone a DVD as a gift, because I'm good at them and I'm also really broke. It was just a slideshow of pictures of the family put to music, but we ended up watching it and everyone loved it and I kind of felt really awesome because I was so happy that they liked it. Anyway, after we cleaned up from dinner, it was about 6 or 7 by then, and everyone started to head out, so we did as well. But because we go hard and party hard, we went to another family Christmas party, this time at my dad's brother's house, and it was also a ton of fun. We just hung out and ate chocolate cake, but I love being around my family, and I think I was still high off of the previous family party so nothing could bring me down. I hope you all had a fabulously awesome love-filled holiday, no matter what you celebrate. 2013 was definitely the year of successful holidays, for sure. Hopefully 2014 brings the same luck. :)

I'm finally in this picture! I'm the one in the middle with the white polka-dot shirt. :)

Lastly, I want conclude this post with a list of all the songs I've been listening to of late, that I absolutely adore and wish to share with you because you can't complain like people in real life do when I say such things. :) Here ya go.

• "Classic" by MKTO (I absolutely adore this song and I could listen to it on repeat for days.)
• The entire Midnight Memories album by One Direction, but "Little White Lies," "Does He Know?," "Better Than Words," "Strong," and "Alive," in particular.
• "From This Valley" by The Civil Wars (I included this in my Christmas video for my family, and they loved it.)
• "Same Old Same Old" by The Civil Wars (basically anything by The Civil Wars is worth listening to and loving, but this one in particular is especially wonderful.)
• "Chocolate" by The 1975 (Love love love love love. Enough said.)
• "Girls" by The 1975 (This song is so good and so catchy, and I love the cover by R5.)
• "Oh My Goodness" by Olly Murs (Every time this song comes on Pandora, I jam out hardcore and dance around like nobody's business, so of course, I bought it.)
• "L-O-V-E" by Nat "King" Cole (This song is a classic. It WILL be played at my wedding one day.)
• "Look What They've Done to My Song" cover by Miley Cyrus (This is an old song by a person that I am not familiar with, but Miley covered it a while ago on YouTube and I illegally downloaded it and listen to it often because I love it so much.)
• "Wishing I Was 23" by R5 (This band is my guilty pleasure, because they're not technically a Disney band, but they're featured on Radio Disney, so they kind of are, but I don't care because I think they're really good and this song is catchy as heck and I bought their entire album with no shame, ok? Ok.)
• "Everybody's Got Somebody But Me (feat. Jason Mraz)" by Hunter Hayes (I like this song a lot because I can relate to it on a painfully accurate level. It's also catchy and I like Hunter Hayes's voice with Jason Mraz's voice. They make pretty sounds come out of their mouths and I love it. This mashup video featuring Jason Mraz, Hunter Hayes, and a bunch of YouTubers is also phenomenal.) 
• Also, the Live Lounge sessions on the Youtube channel for BBC Radio1 is addictive and so awesome and you should check it out.

The End of an Era

I know I should probably be updating you on what's going on in my life, and my New Year's resolutions and whatnot but I have a very pressing issue I need to discuss. I literally just finished watching the final episode of Gossip Girl and all the little behind the scenes things on the DVD, and I feel so empty. Like, honestly, empty, a carved out shell of a person. I haven’t felt this way since the last Harry Potter movie. I didn’t think I was this attached to the show. I guess I thought it would never end, and when it did I had the biggest urge to burst into tears (I didn’t, but I could’ve.) I won’t give anything away, but this show is so much better than it’s perceived by people who don’t watch it. It will suck you in and you’ll fall in love with the characters and then you’ll hate them and then you’ll love them again and you’ll feel like they’re your friends and family. It came so far and I wish it never had to end. I hope they’ll do a reunion in the (near) future. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I'm sorry for my lack of posting, I'll try to get back into it soon. I just had to express this feeling of post-series depression somehow, just to alleviate it a bit. Thanks. :) 

Stuff to Come

Hey people! Just wanted to take a quick second to tell you that I've got a few cool things planned for future posts, and that I haven't forgotten about you! We are quickly approaching the holiday season, and, at least for me, that means life gets pretty crazy. Which in turn means that I have a bunch of new stuff to blog about! I don't want to get into too many details, to build the excitement of course, but let's just say you should probably stick around. ;) 

P.S. - Happy (Almost) Thanksgiving to those of you that celebrate it! 

Life - The Good, Bad, and Ugly Parts

Do you know what is simultaneously confusing and stressful? Life. As blunt as that is, it's true, and relevant. As a high school student, and an upperclassman, it's about time for me to start thinking seriously about what I want to do with the rest of my life, which in turn will lead me to deciding which college I want to go to. This is the conundrum of my generation, I'm telling you. Not only is it nearly impossible to narrow down what I actually like to do, it's downright  unfair to ask me to decide how to make that into a career. It also doesn't help that I live in an area where people don't prioritize happiness, because they're too focused on competing with each other for who has the better house, the better car, more money, the more high-end job, etc. When I was younger, I wanted to be chef. Then I realized I don't have the patience to even make toast, so that was out of the question. Then I wanted to be an author, until I came to the painful realization that unless you're J.K. Rowling or J.R.R. Tolkien, writing books isn't a very plentiful career choice. (That's another thing that bugs me - why can't I do the things that I love despite the fact that I won't make a terrible amount of money?) Anyway, after I nixed two career choices that actually made me happy, I started to think realistically. I did a little self-evaluation, and realized that I'm good at arguing, I'm a pretty good problem-solver, and I really want to help people. So, naturally, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. Not only did it fit my personality almost perfectly, it would make good money, and eventually, lawyers become politicians who become president, which is always fun. But after about a year or two of being dead-set on becoming a lawyer, I thought about the amount of hours and never-ending work that went into becoming and working as a lawyer, and I was terrified of it all. And now, recently, I decided that film-making was my passion, and that was what I was going to do. I've been researching majors and schools that offer film studies and communications programs, and I joined the film club at my school for the sole purpose of exposing myself to the craft outside of making slideshows on my computer. But lo and behold, I've changed my mind again, today. I was laying on my bed and thinking about how my mother has told me before that I'm usually good at all the things I try, but if it doesn't come easy to me, I don't do it. Basically, I'm afraid of working hard for something, because I'm not used to having to do so. This isn't to brag or anything, but it's true, things usually come easy for me. It's also true that I don't usually have to try hard at much of anything. This is a problem. If I'm passionate about something, I need to work for it. Sometimes, it's going to be easy, and I'll welcome the ease. But I can't shy away from or quit things that are hard. So I've decided that maybe becoming a lawyer isn't so bad. It's literally the perfect career choice for me, and I can always minor in film studies. Then, once I've saved up enough money, I can take a hiatus from law and maybe make a movie or two. I can't do the things I want before doing the things I have to do, because life doesn't work that way. Even when I decided I wanted to be a filmmaker, I never totally gave up on the idea of becoming a lawyer, which goes to show that it's still a passion of mine. I think right now, I'm on an adolescent path of self-discovery, and it's okay to change my mind a million times. But at the same time, this is my future I'm debating, and I need to start getting serious.

Songs That Never Get Old

I don't have a whole lot of time but it's been on my mind lately to create a list of songs that never get old, no matter how many times you listen to them. After careful contemplation, here are a few on my personal list. 

"Jack and Diane" by John Mellencamp

"Boomerang" by The Summer Set

"Radioactive" by Marina and the Diamonds

"Poison and Wine" by The Civil Wars

"I Will Never Stop" by *NSYNC

Of course, as I think of more, I'll post more to let you know. But if you haven't listened to these songs yet, I require of you to stop what you're doing and listen to them. You will only regret the fact that they will inevitably get stuck in your head. ;)

Clubs on Clubs on Clubs

This year, I've decided to get more involved within my high school than I have in recent years, because I'm an upperclassmen, and I think it's about time I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I want to try things that I would normally shy away from, because why the hell not? There's nobody telling me I can't but myself, so I'm just gonna shut myself up and do the things I want to do. For example, I'm gonna play football for my school's Homecoming Powder Puff game. It's something that never would've even crossed my mind until this year. To be totally honest, I'm absolutely terrified, especially because the majority of the girls that are doing it are friends with each other, but not necessarily friends with me. I have three other friends of mine that are doing it with me, so that's comforting, but I'm also worried that I'll make a fool of myself. But at the end of the day, I'm just going to regret not doing it if I convince myself to back out. It's a memory in the making, and I know that the triumph of overcoming my social anxiety will be worth a few minutes of terrifying exposure out on the field. This school year is going to be the year of trying really hard to be the best possible version of myself. (That was my New Year's Resolution for 2013, but I'm just going to reiterate it and make it the New School Year Resolution for 2013-2014.) I can only benefit from that mentality.

Speaking of clubs and activities, I'm planning on taking part in A LOT of them, which will make for some pretty interesting, diverse posts in the future. ;) Here's a brief list of  said current and/or potential clubs/activities.

• Film Club
• French Club
• French National Honor Society
• FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America)
• Fitness and Adventure Club
• Tri-M (Music Honor Society) (of which I am treasurer, thankyouverymuch.) 
• Powder Puff 2013
• Interact Club
• NHS (National Honor Society) 

I don't know how I'm going to find the time to fit all this in plus fencing that I do outside of school, a rigorous honors/AP schedule, and trying to maintain a semblance of a social life. But having a license opens up, literally, a world of opportunities. :) Here's to sleepless weeks of making memories! 

An Open Letter to My Sister the Freshman

Dear Little Sis,

So, you are now officially a freshman in high school. As the older, cooler, more experienced sister, I feel obligated to give you some advice, as much as you say you don't want to hear it. ;) Feel free to thank me later.

First of all, no matter what anyone tells you, bring a jacket, at least a light one. Our school is notorious for being indecisive when it comes to A.C. and heating. One room could be ninety degrees and the room next to it could be -30. (That's an exaggeration, but it doesn't feel like it when you're shivering and sweating through it.)

Also, ask questions. It's not dumb or stupid, so don't feel like you're above it. You'll be the one laughing when you don't have to sit through test retakes at 8 o'clock in the morning because you asked 37 questions BEFORE the test. ;)

On another note, I know you're worried about memorizing the layout of the school, and I could try explaining it in words but I think we both know how that's going to turn out so I'm just going to save my breath and say you will get used to it by the end of the first month, don't worry. 

As a high schooler in a school that thoughtfully employs teachers that seem to have just gotten out of college, it is totally okay to have a crush on a teacher and - gasp - think one or two of them are hot. What's not okay is to act on it in any way other than gossiping about it with your friends. That's when you start getting into illegal territory. If you think I'm crazy, just wait. I give it a week before you start liking that science teacher of yours.

Lockers are only useful if you want them to be. I know a ton of people that didn't use their lockers once, and instead carried around as little amount of stuff as possible but still had everything they needed. I don't know how they did it, because I used my locker religiously between every single class, so you're going to have to figure that one out on your own.

Don't forget, there's a whole other school of kids that are joining you this year, (that's why there's freakin' 700 of you,) so branch out and expand your group of friends. A great way to do this (other than basketball, cough cough,) is through clubs. There are clubs that look good on college applications, and there are clubs that are actually fun. I suggest a mixture of both. (German club is kind of stupid though, just so you know.)

Finally, listen to the song "Brave" by Sara Bareilles. Listen, and pay attention. That's my final piece of advice for you. Good luck, dork. <3

Love, Your Big Sis

P.S. - I'm always available, if you can find me, for help if you need it. So are all of my friends.

P.P.S. - NEVER be the first one in the cafeteria. If you have to hide out in the stall of a bathroom for an extra five minutes, do it. Never be the one sitting at a table alone.

Revlon Lip Butter HEAVEN!

Revlon Lip Butters in
Wild Watermelon #063 (left)
& Sorbet #053

Today, I made one of my proudest beauty investments of all time. I was shopping with my mom and I was picking up a few essentials for back to school, (i.e.- the 902-page September issue of Vogue, a HUGE bottle of hairspray, Tresemmé Heat Protectant spray, Revlon Ultimate Suede Lipstick in Finale #095, and the-subject-of-this-post-to-be-identified-shortly,) and I came across a product I've been meaning to try out for a long time. Revlon Lip Butters have always appealed to me aesthetically, meaning: the packaging was really, really pretty. (Whoever designed that deserves a hearty high five and an extra twenty dollars, just saying.) But anyway, my longing for them was only solidified when I saw a vlog by YouTuber Zoella280390, in which she's talking about buying nearly all of the available colors of the Lip Butters while in Florida this past March for the Playlist Live convention. I usually trust her opinion when it comes to all things beauty/fashion related, and this was no different. If Zoe likes them, surely I would too! So, as soon as I got to the Revlon section, I picked out the brightest colors I could find, Wild Watermelon #063 and Sorbet #053, and bought them without a second thought. I generally enjoy lip products, and find myself buying products in pretty colors, though ones I would never wear to school. These up the ante though, in terms of wear-ability. I tried them on as soon as I got home, and I was amazed, I was shocked, I was in love. The Revlon Lip Butters are exquisite! They glide on smoothly like Chapstick, yet are just as colorful as any lipstick. They aren't as heavily pigmented, though, so it makes for a look that's softer and more relaxed than that of a lipstick. I absolutely adore both of the colors I bought, and I feel just as tempted as Zoe to go back and buy them in every color, even if I will never wear grape or mocha colored lip products! I am so excited to wear these to school. I feel like they are easier to pull off than even the Revlon Lip Stains or Clinique Chubby Sticks. They also feel very moisturizing and lotion-y, if that makes sense. I think they have some sort of shea butter or cocoa butter in them, (hence the name,) because the texture is smooth and they have that slight scent to them. Wild Watermelon #063 is a bright, vibrant watermelon-shade of red that looks great for summer and will transition excellently into fall. Sorbet #053 is my favorite of the two; it's the girliest shade of pink that will look great with black clothing or other brights. Despite it being hot pink, it's super versatile, especially given the texture of the product. I literally cannot wait to have an occasion to wear these, (one of the only good things about going back to school next week!)

OMG WTF BTS!!!

For many of us, especially those of us in my generation, it's THAT time of year again. The time to start buying no. 2 pencils and spiral notebooks, the time to start getting up at unholy hours and socialize with people we don't like, the time to go back to school. When I was little, I loved this time of year. I still do, but for different reasons. When I was younger, the school year was the only time I was able to consistently see my friends for any length of time. It was just easier to hang out at school than try to arrange a play-date, (mind you, this was before the social networking, cellular age). Now, I like going back to school, not necessarily because it's the only time to see my friends, (because it's not, I can drive now, thankyouverymuch,) but because the social aspect of fall is one of my favorite times of the year. I love going to football games on Friday nights and looking forward to homecoming week and the homecoming dance, and even the academics are easier to manage in the fall. That's what I'm looking forward to.

Despite the fact that I've had to do summer assignments for honors classes the past 3 years, summer hasn't been that bad, though. We've gone to beaches and taken day trips and spent time with family and friends. But every year, halfway through August, I start to get bored of the meaningless days that bleed one into the next. Sure, there are anomalies here and there where I actually find the motivation to make my day count, but most of the time I end up wasting the day, and while this depresses me to think about, I find no reason to change it if there's nothing better to do. (I procrastinated those summer assignments until the very end of summer, so those don't count as something to do.) This year, though, I got a job. I mentioned it in a previous post, but this past week was my last day there. I ended up working 102 hours at $12.50 per hour, totaling out to a lump sum of $1,275. I'm proud of myself for earning this much money, but I am beyond relieved that I'm done working that job. I'm not denying that it made good money and I was lucky to find it, but the futility and pointlessness of my job was incredibly discouraging, never mind the fact that I worked from 9 AM to about 5 PM every day on average. I'm still a student, so I'm not used to working like that, and I missed hanging out with my friends and doing nothing. I guess you can't have it both ways, but that job is another reason why I can't wait to get back to school. I'm ready for some normalcy, a schedule, and having my social life back. I miss the days where I looked forward to every aspect of "Back to School," but right now I'm just grateful to be getting back to the life I know and am used to. Even if it means a crap-ton of homework and "self-righteous pawns in a losing game," (as Hayley Williams so eloquently put it in the song "Grow Up." )

My Mother and Her Aversion to Concerts

Alright, well, let me start off this post by saying that I will NOT be going to the Backstreet Boys concert I mentioned in an earlier post. The reason being my mother was supposed to be the one to take my sister and I, as she doesn't want me driving to the venue alone, and she decided TODAY that she didn't want to go. From the way she kept delaying getting the tickets, I had a feeling that she didn't really want to go from the start, but I kept reminding her to get the tickets anyway, even offering to pay for them. The only thing she would  have to do is drive us, and my dad offered to drop us off and pick us up if we wanted, so she wouldn't even have to do that. And yet, she still bailed. She really disappointed me in this way because we made plans to go to this concert a month ago, and she was excited to go. Or so I thought. I wish she had just told me upfront that she didn't want to go instead of leading me on for weeks and dropping the bomb at the last minute. And the worst part is that this isn't the first time she's flaked on me like this. We were supposed to go to a concert for my birthday, and never did. I know I sound like a spoiled kid who throws a fit whenever she doesn't get what she wants, but I promise you, it's not that. We made plans to go to a concert, (as we have many times before,) and nearly every time those plans fall through. I know my mom doesn't always like live music, especially if it goes late because she likes to go to bed early, but she knows it's important to me, and she gave me her word. Not being able to go to the concert is disappointing, but it's even more upsetting that my mom lead me on like this. I still love her, of course, but she disappointed me tonight.