Things I Know to be True

A brief list:

• The relatively new album by The Lumineers, Cleopatra, is PHENOMENAL (thanks Maddie, if you're reading this, for introducing me)
• Working at an ice cream shop is fun but not very lucrative (like, at all...)
• I may be getting cavities from said job
• Donald Trump is either the biggest doofus or the smartest con artist I've ever seen, but either reality is terrifying
• Urban Decay makes really good lipsticks
• JoJo picked the wrong Bachelor (!!! so mad about this !!!)
• A lot of bad stuff still happens in the world and some people are really sucky but sometimes people do nice things or are just genuinely good people, and the world is just a little bit better

This post was brought to you by a sheer lack of motivation to do anything else, and peach iced tea.

Example #1 of some really good people, my freshmen hallmates

Example #2: NKE fam, the best & brightest

Example #3, last but certainly not least, my real fam <333

Life - The Good, Bad, and Ugly Parts

Do you know what is simultaneously confusing and stressful? Life. As blunt as that is, it's true, and relevant. As a high school student, and an upperclassman, it's about time for me to start thinking seriously about what I want to do with the rest of my life, which in turn will lead me to deciding which college I want to go to. This is the conundrum of my generation, I'm telling you. Not only is it nearly impossible to narrow down what I actually like to do, it's downright  unfair to ask me to decide how to make that into a career. It also doesn't help that I live in an area where people don't prioritize happiness, because they're too focused on competing with each other for who has the better house, the better car, more money, the more high-end job, etc. When I was younger, I wanted to be chef. Then I realized I don't have the patience to even make toast, so that was out of the question. Then I wanted to be an author, until I came to the painful realization that unless you're J.K. Rowling or J.R.R. Tolkien, writing books isn't a very plentiful career choice. (That's another thing that bugs me - why can't I do the things that I love despite the fact that I won't make a terrible amount of money?) Anyway, after I nixed two career choices that actually made me happy, I started to think realistically. I did a little self-evaluation, and realized that I'm good at arguing, I'm a pretty good problem-solver, and I really want to help people. So, naturally, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. Not only did it fit my personality almost perfectly, it would make good money, and eventually, lawyers become politicians who become president, which is always fun. But after about a year or two of being dead-set on becoming a lawyer, I thought about the amount of hours and never-ending work that went into becoming and working as a lawyer, and I was terrified of it all. And now, recently, I decided that film-making was my passion, and that was what I was going to do. I've been researching majors and schools that offer film studies and communications programs, and I joined the film club at my school for the sole purpose of exposing myself to the craft outside of making slideshows on my computer. But lo and behold, I've changed my mind again, today. I was laying on my bed and thinking about how my mother has told me before that I'm usually good at all the things I try, but if it doesn't come easy to me, I don't do it. Basically, I'm afraid of working hard for something, because I'm not used to having to do so. This isn't to brag or anything, but it's true, things usually come easy for me. It's also true that I don't usually have to try hard at much of anything. This is a problem. If I'm passionate about something, I need to work for it. Sometimes, it's going to be easy, and I'll welcome the ease. But I can't shy away from or quit things that are hard. So I've decided that maybe becoming a lawyer isn't so bad. It's literally the perfect career choice for me, and I can always minor in film studies. Then, once I've saved up enough money, I can take a hiatus from law and maybe make a movie or two. I can't do the things I want before doing the things I have to do, because life doesn't work that way. Even when I decided I wanted to be a filmmaker, I never totally gave up on the idea of becoming a lawyer, which goes to show that it's still a passion of mine. I think right now, I'm on an adolescent path of self-discovery, and it's okay to change my mind a million times. But at the same time, this is my future I'm debating, and I need to start getting serious.

OMG WTF BTS!!!

For many of us, especially those of us in my generation, it's THAT time of year again. The time to start buying no. 2 pencils and spiral notebooks, the time to start getting up at unholy hours and socialize with people we don't like, the time to go back to school. When I was little, I loved this time of year. I still do, but for different reasons. When I was younger, the school year was the only time I was able to consistently see my friends for any length of time. It was just easier to hang out at school than try to arrange a play-date, (mind you, this was before the social networking, cellular age). Now, I like going back to school, not necessarily because it's the only time to see my friends, (because it's not, I can drive now, thankyouverymuch,) but because the social aspect of fall is one of my favorite times of the year. I love going to football games on Friday nights and looking forward to homecoming week and the homecoming dance, and even the academics are easier to manage in the fall. That's what I'm looking forward to.

Despite the fact that I've had to do summer assignments for honors classes the past 3 years, summer hasn't been that bad, though. We've gone to beaches and taken day trips and spent time with family and friends. But every year, halfway through August, I start to get bored of the meaningless days that bleed one into the next. Sure, there are anomalies here and there where I actually find the motivation to make my day count, but most of the time I end up wasting the day, and while this depresses me to think about, I find no reason to change it if there's nothing better to do. (I procrastinated those summer assignments until the very end of summer, so those don't count as something to do.) This year, though, I got a job. I mentioned it in a previous post, but this past week was my last day there. I ended up working 102 hours at $12.50 per hour, totaling out to a lump sum of $1,275. I'm proud of myself for earning this much money, but I am beyond relieved that I'm done working that job. I'm not denying that it made good money and I was lucky to find it, but the futility and pointlessness of my job was incredibly discouraging, never mind the fact that I worked from 9 AM to about 5 PM every day on average. I'm still a student, so I'm not used to working like that, and I missed hanging out with my friends and doing nothing. I guess you can't have it both ways, but that job is another reason why I can't wait to get back to school. I'm ready for some normalcy, a schedule, and having my social life back. I miss the days where I looked forward to every aspect of "Back to School," but right now I'm just grateful to be getting back to the life I know and am used to. Even if it means a crap-ton of homework and "self-righteous pawns in a losing game," (as Hayley Williams so eloquently put it in the song "Grow Up." )