I'm Not in Kansas Anymore

The title of this blog post is misguiding. I've never even been to Kansas. But you get the point. I'm currently writing this post from my college dorm bed, which I am sleeping in for the first time tonight. I'm a little freaked out by all of this new stuff all at one time, you know, over-stimulation and everything. I miss my parents a whole frickin lot, and I miss my room at home more than anything, (especially A.C., good GOD). But also, I am really freaking excited. This is the new chapter that I've been waiting for all my life. I can't wait until everything doesn't feel so new, and I can really begin having fun. I'll keep you posted, though, on whether or not I die from this lack of conditioned air. Other than that, I'm super pumped for college. Here we GOOO (read in the voice of Peter Pan). (Please excuse this utter shit of an article, I am running on bare fumes right now).

I Forgot How to Tie My Loose Ends

I don't know who reads this blog. Honestly, I think my family forgot I still had it, and I don't think my friends even know. I don't expect people to care who I am or what I write or what happens in my life, I just write about it because it helps me to think about it all in a way that helps me understand. Sometimes, I write about specific people, knowing they'll never read what I'm saying about (or to) them. Like now.

I want this to be an open letter to all the people I'm leaving behind in less than two weeks as I move to college. All the people I sort of knew, but didn't know as well as I would've liked, you are all very special people and you've impacted me in countless ways. To the girl I wanted to hate but couldn't because she was just so sweet, I hope you go far in life and I can't wait to root for you. To the boy in my 9th grade gym class that got bullied by the self-righteous douche-bags, you are ten times the man they will ever be and never stop being absurdly yourself, because you're awesome. To my guitar teacher, and my homeroom teacher, and my 11th grade English teacher, and my physics teacher, you all believed in my abilities even when I sometimes couldn't live up to your expectations, and I will always be grateful for that. To the boys I thought I was in love with, I wasn't. I know that now. But all 3 of you are still very important to me, and even though I know you never really thought of me that way, you will hold a place in my heart forever (even if that part is very small in order to make room for someone more important).

To all of my friends going to different colleges in different cities and different states, if I don't see you for a while, I hope you are doing well, and I hope you're getting everything out of life that you deserve, because you are all exceptional people, and I love you with my whole heart. Expect a HUGE hug the next time I see you.

And finally, to my family. I will miss you indefinitely, but the great thing about family is that they're always there. I can see you whenever I want, and I am so grateful for that. I hope you all continue to grow while I'm gone, and I hope I make you proud.

Courtesy of girlpansy on Tumblr