Is Anyone Out There?

If you're reading this right now, I want to extend a virtual hug to you for sticking around even though I am the literal worst. The last time I wrote for this platform was in 2015, for New Year's. That's awful, if I say I have a blog, I should damn well write for it! So that's why I'm here today, because even though I have so much school and extracurricular work to do I'm actually dying a little bit more everyday, the guilt for neglecting Slow Lane was eating at me just a tad more.

So yeah, here we are.

I'm currently 3 weeks away from the official end of my first year of college. Which is CRAZZZYYY. It's insane how fast this year has gone by, and what I've managed to accomplish in the span of 9 months. I've joined a music sorority, become a staff writer for a campus art/fashion/photography magazine called ROCKET, and gotten involved with various miscellaneous things around campus that I never would've believed I could do a year ago. I've taken classes that have pushed me to intellectual, musical, and physical limits, which scared me at first, but now excites me when I can accomplish something I doubted I could in the beginning. Just as an example, one of my classes is Intro to Stage Lighting, which I stupidly thought would be easy. Instead of being easy, I've put in more labor hours than I've ever done in my entire life, and got over my intense fear of heights in the process. Even though it's the most intense class I'm taking, I've learned the most from it. Even if I'll never really admit it.

This year, I've also made some really great friends. The sisters in my music sorority, Nu Kappa Epsilon (NKE for short),  are astounding, wonderful, glorious people that I'm so lucky to know, and I couldn't be more grateful to them for creating a place and an organization that's allowed us all to feel comfortable being our 100% true selves. It was weird, at first, because I was new and didn't really know anyone, but slowly and surely I was able to connect with so many of the sisters. I have my "family" that I love, and people who aren't part of the fam that I also greatly appreciate for how welcoming and friendly and genuine they are. I'm so, so glad I found at least one little corner of my school to which I know I can always come back.

My fam, the greatest there ever was

The WHOLE NKE fam, <3 (less-than-three)

(Most of) my pledge class, fabulous as ever

In addition to NKE, my hallmates have been absolutely amazing. I live in one of the smallest freshmen dorms on campus, and as a result, nearly all of us have gotten to know each other pretty well. I didn't realize that was abnormal until I talked to people from other dorms who didn't even know the names of everyone on their floor, let alone their entire building. So I'm glad I've had this random, wonderful  bunch of weirdos to live with and get to know better. Every single one of them, even the ones I don't speak to as often, has contributed something pretty great to the dorm dynamic, and being a person who can appreciate a heartwarming communal atmosphere every once in a while, I couldn't have gotten luckier with my dorm arrangement. Next year is really going to be hard, not being around them as much. But I'm glad we had this year. <3

You know friends are good friends when they get burgers with you for your birthday when your birthday is during finals

Snowed in, watching Broad City, stealing my dill chips, it's casual

Fancy dinners for fancy people (*jokes*)

A complicated arrangement in which the loser of  a Yu-Gi-Oh battle would also lose a game of Assasins. Idek. 

But yeah, as the year winds down, the work sure as hell doesn't. I'm going on my fourth hell week in a row. That's a month of non-stop ridiculousness that I've only barely gotten through. Just this past weekend, I pulled an all-nighter from Sunday to Monday trying to finish a paper for one of my classes, and even though it was cool to be able to take a shower at 7 AM but not have to wake up for it, I hadn't been that tired since graduation season. Actually that might be a lie, it was probably earlier this school year, but I try to block painful memories. Anyway, I'm just excited for the summer. For me, it officially starts May 4th, and I don't have to be back at school until the end of August. Somehow I feel like I'm cheating the system, with a break that long. But I mean, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, amiright?

As for next year, I have a few plans up my sleeve. I intend to rush a social Greek sorority, which will be stressful but fun. I'll also be the Features Editor for ROCKET, which will also be stressful, but I'm going to try my hardest to make it worth it. I don't know if I'll become a big and take a little for NKE during the fall, but I definitely will by the springtime. (Don't hold me to that, though, I feel like I don't yet know what I'm getting myself into....) Also! I did a piece for ROCKET about people who do shows for the campus radio station, and it fascinated me. I'm very intrigued, and I kind of want to try it out, even if I'm limited to playing only songs my parents will know because they'll be my only 2 loyal listeners. I'm cool with that. I just want to get involved, but we'll see. My goals for next year are to do well academically, and get super involved with extracurricular activities, like I was in high school. I don't know how to not be busy, what can I say? ;P

Pathways from the Wren towards my ***bright*** future

I'd end this post here, but I feel like my legions of loyal readers will be disappointed if I don't arbitrarily state my favorite songs at the moment. So here's a ~*brief*~ list.

Carry You - Phillip Larue
Barcelona - George Ezra
Slow Dancing - Two Worlds
Elizabeth Taylor - Clare Maguire
(Girl We Got A) Good Thing - Weezer
All Downhill from Here - The Summer Set (their entire new album, Stories for Monday, is amazing btw)
When Did Your Heart Go Missing? - Rooney (an oldie but a goodie)
Chronic (The Knocks High in Harajuku Remix) - Phoebe Ryan (I quite literally cannot stop myself from dancing to this, it's such a good remix)
Tilted - Christine and the Queens
Where You Are - Hillsong Young & Free (Sometimes Christian Rock has deceptively good beats also I didn't know this was a Christian song until just now)
Loch Lomond - Peter Hollens (an a cappella group on campus sings this as a senior goodbye song and it's absolutely stunning)
Send Me on My Way - Rusted Root
Come and Get It - John Newman
Can't Sleep Love - Pentatonix
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY FRIENDS - LANY (they capitalized it like that, not me. But I agree)
The entire new 1975 album, which I will review in full at a later time, but oh my GOD it is so GOOD (link is one of my favorite songs from it)
Post-Breakup Sex - The Vaccines
Teenage Idol - The Vaccines
Virgins - Death from Above 1979 (Sam, if you're reading this, I only know this band bc of you, so thanks)
White is Red - Death from Above 1979
All My Friends - Snakehips, Tinashe, Chance the Rapper
River - Leon Bridges
Gold - Kiiara
The Rules for Lovers - Richard Walters
Leave a Trace - CHVRCHES
Lemon Eyes - Meg Myers
All I Wanna Say - Lontalius

I'll stop here, for real now. Although I haven't recommended songs in so long, I could honestly keep going and make this ridiculously long post even more ridiculous. But I digress.

The important thing is...
 I'M BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER*

 (*overstatement, but like, whatever)

I Forgot How to Tie My Loose Ends

I don't know who reads this blog. Honestly, I think my family forgot I still had it, and I don't think my friends even know. I don't expect people to care who I am or what I write or what happens in my life, I just write about it because it helps me to think about it all in a way that helps me understand. Sometimes, I write about specific people, knowing they'll never read what I'm saying about (or to) them. Like now.

I want this to be an open letter to all the people I'm leaving behind in less than two weeks as I move to college. All the people I sort of knew, but didn't know as well as I would've liked, you are all very special people and you've impacted me in countless ways. To the girl I wanted to hate but couldn't because she was just so sweet, I hope you go far in life and I can't wait to root for you. To the boy in my 9th grade gym class that got bullied by the self-righteous douche-bags, you are ten times the man they will ever be and never stop being absurdly yourself, because you're awesome. To my guitar teacher, and my homeroom teacher, and my 11th grade English teacher, and my physics teacher, you all believed in my abilities even when I sometimes couldn't live up to your expectations, and I will always be grateful for that. To the boys I thought I was in love with, I wasn't. I know that now. But all 3 of you are still very important to me, and even though I know you never really thought of me that way, you will hold a place in my heart forever (even if that part is very small in order to make room for someone more important).

To all of my friends going to different colleges in different cities and different states, if I don't see you for a while, I hope you are doing well, and I hope you're getting everything out of life that you deserve, because you are all exceptional people, and I love you with my whole heart. Expect a HUGE hug the next time I see you.

And finally, to my family. I will miss you indefinitely, but the great thing about family is that they're always there. I can see you whenever I want, and I am so grateful for that. I hope you all continue to grow while I'm gone, and I hope I make you proud.

Courtesy of girlpansy on Tumblr

Galentine's Forever (AKA Bows before Bros)

As I write this, I am sitting in my room with a full face of (might I say pretty fabulous) makeup, listening to a girl power mix-tape, happily recalling the best chocolate cake I've ever had in my life and how much I love my friends. Why am I doing such strange things? Because today is Galentine's Day, of course. For those of you who may  not be familiar with it, it originates from Parks and Rec, and is quite possibly the best idea to come out of television (that was a hyperbole for you literary geeks, but you get it). Today also being Friday the 13th kind of added to the grandeur of it all - like, let's go out and celebrate friend-love and gal pals but also HERE'S A MIDDLE FINGER, superstition, I'm gonna have fun anyway. 

Anyway, today at school everything just buzzed by in anticipation for tonight, in which three of my bestest friends in the world and I dolled ourselves up and went out to a fancy (AF) restaurant and pretended we were way more sophisticated than we really are. But it was awesome, even if I may have swore a little too loud and had to pull over because I didn't have money for a toll booth. Despite all of that, tonight was great. We ate delicious food and talked about anything and everything, and if it hadn't been for a curfew, we probably could've stayed there longer than the two hours we did. We talked about boys, and Senior Beach Week, and people we hate, and sketchy gas station attendants, and super-awkward religious people, and cats, and it was such a disgustingly good time, I'm honestly kind of sad it's over already. Every time my friends and I plan outings like this, even if they aren't as fancy as this particular evening, I always come away feeling like "Wow, I love my friends not just because they're my friends, but because they are genuinely amazing people." I love that we can talk to each other about practically anything, and that we're so comfortable with each other. And I think that's the whole point of Galentine's - friend-love is just as important, if not more important, than romantic love, because even when you're single, you still have your friends, who love you even when you feel ugly or sad or crampy or bitchy. And if your friends are anything like mine, they'll love you even when you're ugly, sad, crampy, and bitchy AT THE SAME TIME. I hope you, ubiquitous reader, have a wonderful Valentine's Day, even if you don't have a Valentine, because honestly - who needs one when you've got your Galentine? 

We were both wearing black shoes, black bags, red coats, red dresses, and we both drove red cars. We may or may not be the same person.

This dish had a very Italian name that I can't remember, so just know it was shrimpy and spicy and fantastic and the best pasta I've ever eaten. 

Chocolate cake with strawberry mousse layers, AKA the reason I will never eat Costco cake again

My Galentines <3

At the restaurant, looking super snazzy and red-velvety and floral