Ambitious, Apprehensive Procrastination (With a Quick Glance Around)

Hello everyone, and welcome back to my sad little corner of the internet that like 6.5 people care about. It's been a while! Let's catch up - I am now a sophomore in college, I'm thissss much closer to declaring a major, I still don't get enough sleep, and now I have AC in my room (thank GOD).

Now that that's out of the way, we can move on to discussing more pressing issues, such as all the things I'd like to be doing if I could just figure out how to organize my life well enough to do them.

I am this school year's features editor for a fashion/art/photography publication at my school called ROCKET, and I am, slowly but surely, figuring out just how to do that. My ultimate goal is to not only guide my fellow writers towards their best creations, but to also be a person they can look up to and rely on. Most of us are around the same age, but I'm their beta leader (we also have an EIC, so there's that leader to answer to, as well,) and I want to be a good one. I want to foster a little community between the six of us that allows for a constant flow of communication, ideas, creativity, and of course, friendship. On top of that, I also strive to be the most competent person I can be, so that I'm never left not knowing how to solve a problem. As you can imagine, no one of this is going to come easy, but I believe in ROCKET and the writers and our potential and I am willing to work to achieve these goals. I'm just not going to be able to sleep, ever, apparently. It's cool.

ALSO, before I forget to mention it! I got in an Instagram argument with the LITERAL Marc Jacobs last week! Okay, let me break it down briefly, (I intend to write more about it for ROCKET's website, so I can't get into too much detail but OMGGG).  Last week was the tail end of New York Fashion Week (NYFW). If I'm not mistaken, Marc Jacobs' show was one of the last ones, and it was expected to be big and innovative and awesome. And for many aspects of it, it was. The setting was futuristic and colorful and creative and some big names in the modeling industry walked for him, including Kendall Jenner and both Hadid sisters. But the one glaring problem with the whole show, that has since overshadowed any of the actual clothes that went down the runway, was that despite most of the models being white, or otherwise non-People of Color (POC,) they were all sporting pastel-colored dreadlocks. I saw this on one of the pictures on the Marc Jacobs company Instagram, and commented that while this show was otherwise impressive, it was disappointing to see non-POC wearing dreadlocks, and that if that was the aesthetic they were going for, they should have used actual models of color. THAT'S WHEN THINGS GOT CRAZY. Marc Jacobs HIMSELF, on his actual personal account, commented back and tagged me and one other girl, that it wasn't cultural appropriation, it was just appreciating people and love is all you need, and wouldn't cultural appropriation be when women of color straighten their hair? And other nonsense like that. I WAS STUNNED. Both because he commented back, and because he was SO INSANELY IGNORANT. I commented back trying to break down for him the (many) points he'd misunderstood. From there, SO MANY DIFFERENT NEWS SOURCES AND INDIVIDUALS saw this comment and found my original comment and started tagging me in things and videos and articles and it was NUTS. I shared screenshots of the comments on my Facebook page, and to date, it is the most interacted-with post I've ever shared. I never imagined it would end up like this, but I'm glad I wasn't the only one that noticed how strange and wrong Marc Jacobs was acting. I don't discredit him as a designer or hate him or anything (who's got actual time for that,) but I am really disappointed in him. If he could've acknowledged that he made a mistake, that all would be well, but his response was just so surprisingly childish, that it almost seemed like a joke.

But anyway, aside from being more culturally sensitive than a major fashion designer, my life has been pretty consistent. I did see the Lumineers in concert last Friday, which BLEW MY MIND, and then this week I discovered that stickers will actually stay on my laptop surface, going against what I previously thought. Pretty exciting stuff, I know. Now I just have to try to focus on maintaining that kind of excitement in little, everyday things, which is the ultimate goal, amiright?

The most magical night, the best performers

Seriously, though, I do have a lot of things I'd like to accomplish this year, and hopefully by writing them down, I'll be more motivated to get them done. One of these things is to participate in NaNoWriMo again after having not done it for 2 or 3 years. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, and basically you just commit to writing 50,000 words of an original novel during the entire month of November. I've attempted it twice, but I've never finished. This year, I want to change that. I used to love writing so much, and I still do. But I used to be better at churning out stories. They flew out of my brain like oxygen out of my lungs when I'm late for class and have to speed walk. But now, it's like my story well has pretty much dried up. I want it back, so I'm forcing myself to write more. I'm going to start prepping now by trying to write creatively at least once or twice a week, hopefully more. The thing with NaNoWriMo, also, is that it doesn't have to be a good novel, it just has to be a novel. So with that in mind, I think I might be ready to (finally) conquer it.

Additionally, I want to become a better musician, I want to learn how to spend and save money smarter, and I want to get in the habit of living my life in a healthier way - i.e. preparing for things further in advance, sleeping at more normal times, keeping in better touch with friends from home, and of course, eating on a more regular schedule instead of snacking on small things that aren't necessarily doing me any good.

I don't really know what the point of this post was, but I felt like I had a lot of thoughts floating around in my head, and I needed to organize them somehow. Kind of like I need to organize my life, but easier and less time-consuming. :P

To end this post, here's my current playlist, which is honestly my favorite thing to write about, so here you go. :)

Happy Birthday - The Beatles (today is my cousin's 1st birthday and he might be the cutest baby I've ever seen so I had to)
Cartoons and Forever Plans - Maria Taylor
Keep On Loving You - Cigarettes After Sex
Americana Dream - firekid
Hell No - Ingrid Michaelson
Cool Blue - The Japanese House
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths (I stalked one of the new features writers' blogs and this was on one of her playlists and I knew she'd fit in with us right away at ROCKET)
Life Itself - Glass Animals
Season 2 Episode 3 - Glass Animals
Pork Soda - Glass Animals
June, After Dark - Elliot Root
Gemini Feed - Banks
Underdressed - VERITE
Give Me Something - Jarryd James
Babylon - David Gray (this song is SO GOOD, I don't even know what else to say about it, just listen it)
Cool Girl - Tove Lo
American Money - BORNS
Always Love - Nada Surf
Still Not a Player - Big Pun
LOST BOY - Troye Sivan
Laura - Hockey Dad
Flesh Without Blood - Grimes
Closer - Duck House

Is Anyone Out There?

If you're reading this right now, I want to extend a virtual hug to you for sticking around even though I am the literal worst. The last time I wrote for this platform was in 2015, for New Year's. That's awful, if I say I have a blog, I should damn well write for it! So that's why I'm here today, because even though I have so much school and extracurricular work to do I'm actually dying a little bit more everyday, the guilt for neglecting Slow Lane was eating at me just a tad more.

So yeah, here we are.

I'm currently 3 weeks away from the official end of my first year of college. Which is CRAZZZYYY. It's insane how fast this year has gone by, and what I've managed to accomplish in the span of 9 months. I've joined a music sorority, become a staff writer for a campus art/fashion/photography magazine called ROCKET, and gotten involved with various miscellaneous things around campus that I never would've believed I could do a year ago. I've taken classes that have pushed me to intellectual, musical, and physical limits, which scared me at first, but now excites me when I can accomplish something I doubted I could in the beginning. Just as an example, one of my classes is Intro to Stage Lighting, which I stupidly thought would be easy. Instead of being easy, I've put in more labor hours than I've ever done in my entire life, and got over my intense fear of heights in the process. Even though it's the most intense class I'm taking, I've learned the most from it. Even if I'll never really admit it.

This year, I've also made some really great friends. The sisters in my music sorority, Nu Kappa Epsilon (NKE for short),  are astounding, wonderful, glorious people that I'm so lucky to know, and I couldn't be more grateful to them for creating a place and an organization that's allowed us all to feel comfortable being our 100% true selves. It was weird, at first, because I was new and didn't really know anyone, but slowly and surely I was able to connect with so many of the sisters. I have my "family" that I love, and people who aren't part of the fam that I also greatly appreciate for how welcoming and friendly and genuine they are. I'm so, so glad I found at least one little corner of my school to which I know I can always come back.

My fam, the greatest there ever was

The WHOLE NKE fam, <3 (less-than-three)

(Most of) my pledge class, fabulous as ever

In addition to NKE, my hallmates have been absolutely amazing. I live in one of the smallest freshmen dorms on campus, and as a result, nearly all of us have gotten to know each other pretty well. I didn't realize that was abnormal until I talked to people from other dorms who didn't even know the names of everyone on their floor, let alone their entire building. So I'm glad I've had this random, wonderful  bunch of weirdos to live with and get to know better. Every single one of them, even the ones I don't speak to as often, has contributed something pretty great to the dorm dynamic, and being a person who can appreciate a heartwarming communal atmosphere every once in a while, I couldn't have gotten luckier with my dorm arrangement. Next year is really going to be hard, not being around them as much. But I'm glad we had this year. <3

You know friends are good friends when they get burgers with you for your birthday when your birthday is during finals

Snowed in, watching Broad City, stealing my dill chips, it's casual

Fancy dinners for fancy people (*jokes*)

A complicated arrangement in which the loser of  a Yu-Gi-Oh battle would also lose a game of Assasins. Idek. 

But yeah, as the year winds down, the work sure as hell doesn't. I'm going on my fourth hell week in a row. That's a month of non-stop ridiculousness that I've only barely gotten through. Just this past weekend, I pulled an all-nighter from Sunday to Monday trying to finish a paper for one of my classes, and even though it was cool to be able to take a shower at 7 AM but not have to wake up for it, I hadn't been that tired since graduation season. Actually that might be a lie, it was probably earlier this school year, but I try to block painful memories. Anyway, I'm just excited for the summer. For me, it officially starts May 4th, and I don't have to be back at school until the end of August. Somehow I feel like I'm cheating the system, with a break that long. But I mean, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, amiright?

As for next year, I have a few plans up my sleeve. I intend to rush a social Greek sorority, which will be stressful but fun. I'll also be the Features Editor for ROCKET, which will also be stressful, but I'm going to try my hardest to make it worth it. I don't know if I'll become a big and take a little for NKE during the fall, but I definitely will by the springtime. (Don't hold me to that, though, I feel like I don't yet know what I'm getting myself into....) Also! I did a piece for ROCKET about people who do shows for the campus radio station, and it fascinated me. I'm very intrigued, and I kind of want to try it out, even if I'm limited to playing only songs my parents will know because they'll be my only 2 loyal listeners. I'm cool with that. I just want to get involved, but we'll see. My goals for next year are to do well academically, and get super involved with extracurricular activities, like I was in high school. I don't know how to not be busy, what can I say? ;P

Pathways from the Wren towards my ***bright*** future

I'd end this post here, but I feel like my legions of loyal readers will be disappointed if I don't arbitrarily state my favorite songs at the moment. So here's a ~*brief*~ list.

Carry You - Phillip Larue
Barcelona - George Ezra
Slow Dancing - Two Worlds
Elizabeth Taylor - Clare Maguire
(Girl We Got A) Good Thing - Weezer
All Downhill from Here - The Summer Set (their entire new album, Stories for Monday, is amazing btw)
When Did Your Heart Go Missing? - Rooney (an oldie but a goodie)
Chronic (The Knocks High in Harajuku Remix) - Phoebe Ryan (I quite literally cannot stop myself from dancing to this, it's such a good remix)
Tilted - Christine and the Queens
Where You Are - Hillsong Young & Free (Sometimes Christian Rock has deceptively good beats also I didn't know this was a Christian song until just now)
Loch Lomond - Peter Hollens (an a cappella group on campus sings this as a senior goodbye song and it's absolutely stunning)
Send Me on My Way - Rusted Root
Come and Get It - John Newman
Can't Sleep Love - Pentatonix
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY FRIENDS - LANY (they capitalized it like that, not me. But I agree)
The entire new 1975 album, which I will review in full at a later time, but oh my GOD it is so GOOD (link is one of my favorite songs from it)
Post-Breakup Sex - The Vaccines
Teenage Idol - The Vaccines
Virgins - Death from Above 1979 (Sam, if you're reading this, I only know this band bc of you, so thanks)
White is Red - Death from Above 1979
All My Friends - Snakehips, Tinashe, Chance the Rapper
River - Leon Bridges
Gold - Kiiara
The Rules for Lovers - Richard Walters
Leave a Trace - CHVRCHES
Lemon Eyes - Meg Myers
All I Wanna Say - Lontalius

I'll stop here, for real now. Although I haven't recommended songs in so long, I could honestly keep going and make this ridiculously long post even more ridiculous. But I digress.

The important thing is...
 I'M BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER*

 (*overstatement, but like, whatever)

I'mma Let You Finish But These are the Greatest Albums of All Time

I should be practicing guitar or reading 11 pages about the court system or doing literally anything else academically related, but alas. I am not. Instead, I am presenting you with a list of some of the best albums I've ever listened to. Which means this is biased and completely, 100% my opinion only. But, like, listen to them and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Disclaimer: My qualifications for "best album" are simply that I can listen to the whole thing without skipping more than one or two songs. I'm really not that complicated.

Legendary - The Summer Set
Nothing Personal - All Time Low
Paramore - Paramore
The Fool - Ryn Weaver
Electra Heart - Marina and the Diamonds
She Looks So Perfect: US Tour Edition - 5 Seconds of Summer
x - Ed Sheeran
1989 - Taylor Swift
Hozier - Hozier
Acronyms - LANY
Communion (Deluxe) - Years & Years
American Candy - The Maine
Froot - Marina and the Diamonds
Losing Sleep - Parachute
The Way It Was - Parachute
Badlands - Halsey
WILD - Troye Sivan

You're welcome.

Aside from "1989," all of these albums are on Spotify so go check them out. Each album title is hyperlinked to the band/artist's website. Even more you're welcomes. 

P.S. - Quick note about the 5SOS EP - the version on Spotify does not include the one song that I love above all else that literally gives me heart palpitations every time I listen to it, which is "Disconnected," So if you would like to truly experience this majestic and beautiful harmony, here is the YouTube link. It's also available on Spotify as a live track off of their other album LIVESOS. 

Things That Are Keeping Me Busy

Between my last post and this one, a lot has been going on in my life. Ramadan just ended last week, (yes, I am an American Muslim teenager - one who wears shorts and shows her hair, but whatever), I started working for my dad again, and the Common App opened on Friday. The Common App, for all you non-American students out there, is a general college application that you can send to multiple universities at once. The one for the 2014-2015 school year opened on Friday, a fact I was unaware of in June, when I made an account to get a head start on my essays and such. That application was for the 2013-2014 school year, and was deleted at the end of July, much to my dismay. The fortunate side of all this was that the essays remained the same, and I ended up being able to fill out my entire Common Application in one sitting because I'd already written my essay. So that was good. :)

A Snapchat I put on my Snap Story documenting my inner turmoil over college apps

Aside from college applications and general school stress, I've also been very preoccupied with music lately. I just recently discovered the beauty that is Spotify, and it is literally my new obsession, (I know, SO late jumping on that bandwagon, but better late than never, right?) I'm listening to it as I write this, in fact, and I can't even believe I liked Pandora more than this at one point in my life. I still like Pandora because it's a simpler radio format, but sometimes I just want to listen to the same song over and over without having to buy it, which is where Spotify comes in and saves my life. Because of Spotify, I think I want to make more posts on this blog recommending music. I tweet all the time about songs I'm currently loving, but they hardly get any response (as far as I know), so I'm just going to blog instead. I'll include a list of the songs on my most-listened-to playlist at the end of this post. Honestly, music and makeup are some of my favorite things to blog about, so I might end up writing more about it. Books, too. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Spotify is amazing and you should make an account RIGHTNOW if you haven't already. :) Moving on.

A screenshot of Spotify playing on my computer. If only it showed the number of times I played each song...

Yet another thing keeping me busy lately is makeup (as mentioned before, I love talking about it). I've recently come to the conclusion that I adore dark, vampy lipstick, and statement colors, even in the summer. I've bought 3 lip shades in the last 2 weeks that satisfy my longing for gothic/almost-ridiculously-colored makeup, and I am loving them. The first one was a Rimmel London: Kate Moss shade in 124 Bordeaux. It's creamy and smooth and it makes my teeth look so white because it's such a dark, red wine color that's almost purple. The second product was the Revlon Colorstay Moisture Stain in 005 Parisian Passion. It's similar in color to Bordeaux, but it's a lip gloss-meets-lip stain. It goes on pretty pigmented but when it dries it looks like more of a berry color. It's really pretty on, though, despite it not remaining pigmented, and it isn't sticky like some products I've tried. The third product was actually a very recent purchase (two days ago), and it's a Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in 440 Cherries in The Snow. It's a creme consistency, which I've found I like more than matte textures, and it's hyper-pigmented. I normally shy away from red lipsticks just because most of them have orange or pink-y undertones, which don't look good with my skin color and make my teeth look really dull or yellow. BUT THIS ISN'T ANY NORMAL RED LIPSTICK. This is the most beautiful red lipstick I've ever seen, and I can say that with conviction, (mostly because I haven't really seen that many red lipsticks, but still). This lipstick is bright red, with bluer undertones that, again, make my teeth look whiter (which I clearly look for when shopping for lip products), and when I opened the tube for the first time, I didn't want to try it on like I normally do with products I've just bought, because it looked so pristine and perfect and unreal. So naturally, I went home and took copious amounts of pictures of a single tube of lipstick before trying it on. Then I put the pictures on Tumblr because I couldn't NOT share this latest discovery. This upcoming school year is my last year of high school, and I made a pact with myself to be more adventurous with my style, (which is saying something because I already dress "weird" as my sister so kindly puts it). This includes more lipstick, because I LOVE THE STUFF AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.

My super edited pic of the best red lipstick ever

One last thing I just have to talk about before I go. Okay, two things, but it's brief. Recently I started watching Teen Wolf (yet another thing I'm late to the game for), but OH MY GOD I love that show. My best friend and I have this thing where we'll pick a show and watch all the episodes together, and in the past it's been shows like The Lying Game (which sadly got cancelled halfway through the second season), and Kyle XY (which we never finished). But now it's Teen Wolf and we're both obsessed. The second thing is that I tried out one of those Sally Hansen nail design tool kits, and yet again, OH MY GOD those things are genius. I love nail art but never had the necessary tools to be able to do cool designs. Now, however, I can do allllllll the cool designs and I loovvvveeee it. :):) (I PROMISE I'm not sponsored by any company I mention, even though it totally seems like I am.) (Maybe one day I will be but not today.) :)

My caption for this picture on instagram was "Kinda proud these don't totally suck." Still applies. :)

Anyway, as promised, here's the playlist. I won't bore you with super long descriptions of why I adore these songs, because eventually all the descriptions end up being the same, so yeah, here they are, with short comments - as short as I can physically make them. ;)  ADORE THESE WITH ME, PLEASE!!!

• 5 Seconds of Summer's new album (AMAZING, I LOVE IT COMPLETELY AND WITH NO EXCEPTIONS).
• Ed Sheeran's new album X (THE ENTIRE THING IS A POETIC MASTERPIECE and it's a beautiful sophomore album and his newer sound is even better than his old one)
• Falling in Love At A Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg (cutest song to ever be put on an AT&T commercial) (Alternate music video)
• Salute by Little Mix (don't judge, it's kick-ass)
• Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus (covered by many, perfected by one)
• Fast Car by Tracy Chapman (sorta depressing 80's song, still awesome anyway, and probably one of my favorite songs because I could listen to it on repeat for hours and not get bored.)
• Year 3000 by Busted (WAY better than the Jonas Brothers' cover, bc it's the original)(except, not gonna lie, Joe Jonas circa 2006 was pretty attractive)
• Easy Love by R5 (so so so catchy)
• I'm Ready by AJR (Spongebob intro. 'Nough said)
• In Your Atmosphere - Live at the Nokia Theatre by John Mayer (his songs are beautiful and he is so good live and this song is so amazingly performed)
• Chasing the Sun by Hilary Duff (not the most amazing song but HILARY DUFF HAS NEW MUSIC SO I LOVE IT ANYWAY BC IT SOUNDS LIKE 2003 AND I LOVE IT)
• That Girl by All Time Low (I've loved this song for years now and Spotify lets me listen to it ALLLL THE TIME) (I swear I'm not sponsored by Spotify. If I was more people would read this blog).
• Happy Little Pill by Troye Sivan (I keep singing the Gucci part in my head and I don't even know if he's saying Gucci...)
• Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by STRFKR (even better than Cyndi Lauper, which is hard to do)
• She Ain't You by New Hollow (literally the only song released on iTunes by this band for YEARS but I love it, it sounds so much like a 90's meets late 80's rock/pop song) (Another song I could listen to on repeat forever)
• All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor (I had to.) (Emblem3 did a really cool cover of this song, too). 
• Maybe You're Right by Miley Cyrus (such a surprisingly good song)
• Love On Top by Beyonce (the music video for this song makes the song even better)
• Orbiting by The Weepies (BEAUTIFUL SONG)
• Femme Fatale by Nico & The Velvet Underground (weird at first but after you listen to it about 20 times you find yourself singing it to yourself so you like it by default)
• Who's That Chick? (feat. Rihanna) by David Guetta (a DJ remix song I actually really like) (don't watch the video in the dark, it's like strobe lights in technicolor) 
• Somebody to You (feat. Demi Lovato) by The Vamps (love the intro, Demi's part, and the chorus more than the rest of the song, but I still like the song a lot) (Never mind, just watched the video again, and I like the whole song equally. Which is a lot.) :)
• Twist and Shout (Cover) by The Vamps (Saw this for the first time, and it just made me happy bc even though they've released an album they're still doing covers, which is what they're known for and I find that cool) (The cover is also pretty good) ;)