Is Anyone Out There?

If you're reading this right now, I want to extend a virtual hug to you for sticking around even though I am the literal worst. The last time I wrote for this platform was in 2015, for New Year's. That's awful, if I say I have a blog, I should damn well write for it! So that's why I'm here today, because even though I have so much school and extracurricular work to do I'm actually dying a little bit more everyday, the guilt for neglecting Slow Lane was eating at me just a tad more.

So yeah, here we are.

I'm currently 3 weeks away from the official end of my first year of college. Which is CRAZZZYYY. It's insane how fast this year has gone by, and what I've managed to accomplish in the span of 9 months. I've joined a music sorority, become a staff writer for a campus art/fashion/photography magazine called ROCKET, and gotten involved with various miscellaneous things around campus that I never would've believed I could do a year ago. I've taken classes that have pushed me to intellectual, musical, and physical limits, which scared me at first, but now excites me when I can accomplish something I doubted I could in the beginning. Just as an example, one of my classes is Intro to Stage Lighting, which I stupidly thought would be easy. Instead of being easy, I've put in more labor hours than I've ever done in my entire life, and got over my intense fear of heights in the process. Even though it's the most intense class I'm taking, I've learned the most from it. Even if I'll never really admit it.

This year, I've also made some really great friends. The sisters in my music sorority, Nu Kappa Epsilon (NKE for short),  are astounding, wonderful, glorious people that I'm so lucky to know, and I couldn't be more grateful to them for creating a place and an organization that's allowed us all to feel comfortable being our 100% true selves. It was weird, at first, because I was new and didn't really know anyone, but slowly and surely I was able to connect with so many of the sisters. I have my "family" that I love, and people who aren't part of the fam that I also greatly appreciate for how welcoming and friendly and genuine they are. I'm so, so glad I found at least one little corner of my school to which I know I can always come back.

My fam, the greatest there ever was

The WHOLE NKE fam, <3 (less-than-three)

(Most of) my pledge class, fabulous as ever

In addition to NKE, my hallmates have been absolutely amazing. I live in one of the smallest freshmen dorms on campus, and as a result, nearly all of us have gotten to know each other pretty well. I didn't realize that was abnormal until I talked to people from other dorms who didn't even know the names of everyone on their floor, let alone their entire building. So I'm glad I've had this random, wonderful  bunch of weirdos to live with and get to know better. Every single one of them, even the ones I don't speak to as often, has contributed something pretty great to the dorm dynamic, and being a person who can appreciate a heartwarming communal atmosphere every once in a while, I couldn't have gotten luckier with my dorm arrangement. Next year is really going to be hard, not being around them as much. But I'm glad we had this year. <3

You know friends are good friends when they get burgers with you for your birthday when your birthday is during finals

Snowed in, watching Broad City, stealing my dill chips, it's casual

Fancy dinners for fancy people (*jokes*)

A complicated arrangement in which the loser of  a Yu-Gi-Oh battle would also lose a game of Assasins. Idek. 

But yeah, as the year winds down, the work sure as hell doesn't. I'm going on my fourth hell week in a row. That's a month of non-stop ridiculousness that I've only barely gotten through. Just this past weekend, I pulled an all-nighter from Sunday to Monday trying to finish a paper for one of my classes, and even though it was cool to be able to take a shower at 7 AM but not have to wake up for it, I hadn't been that tired since graduation season. Actually that might be a lie, it was probably earlier this school year, but I try to block painful memories. Anyway, I'm just excited for the summer. For me, it officially starts May 4th, and I don't have to be back at school until the end of August. Somehow I feel like I'm cheating the system, with a break that long. But I mean, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, amiright?

As for next year, I have a few plans up my sleeve. I intend to rush a social Greek sorority, which will be stressful but fun. I'll also be the Features Editor for ROCKET, which will also be stressful, but I'm going to try my hardest to make it worth it. I don't know if I'll become a big and take a little for NKE during the fall, but I definitely will by the springtime. (Don't hold me to that, though, I feel like I don't yet know what I'm getting myself into....) Also! I did a piece for ROCKET about people who do shows for the campus radio station, and it fascinated me. I'm very intrigued, and I kind of want to try it out, even if I'm limited to playing only songs my parents will know because they'll be my only 2 loyal listeners. I'm cool with that. I just want to get involved, but we'll see. My goals for next year are to do well academically, and get super involved with extracurricular activities, like I was in high school. I don't know how to not be busy, what can I say? ;P

Pathways from the Wren towards my ***bright*** future

I'd end this post here, but I feel like my legions of loyal readers will be disappointed if I don't arbitrarily state my favorite songs at the moment. So here's a ~*brief*~ list.

Carry You - Phillip Larue
Barcelona - George Ezra
Slow Dancing - Two Worlds
Elizabeth Taylor - Clare Maguire
(Girl We Got A) Good Thing - Weezer
All Downhill from Here - The Summer Set (their entire new album, Stories for Monday, is amazing btw)
When Did Your Heart Go Missing? - Rooney (an oldie but a goodie)
Chronic (The Knocks High in Harajuku Remix) - Phoebe Ryan (I quite literally cannot stop myself from dancing to this, it's such a good remix)
Tilted - Christine and the Queens
Where You Are - Hillsong Young & Free (Sometimes Christian Rock has deceptively good beats also I didn't know this was a Christian song until just now)
Loch Lomond - Peter Hollens (an a cappella group on campus sings this as a senior goodbye song and it's absolutely stunning)
Send Me on My Way - Rusted Root
Come and Get It - John Newman
Can't Sleep Love - Pentatonix
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY FRIENDS - LANY (they capitalized it like that, not me. But I agree)
The entire new 1975 album, which I will review in full at a later time, but oh my GOD it is so GOOD (link is one of my favorite songs from it)
Post-Breakup Sex - The Vaccines
Teenage Idol - The Vaccines
Virgins - Death from Above 1979 (Sam, if you're reading this, I only know this band bc of you, so thanks)
White is Red - Death from Above 1979
All My Friends - Snakehips, Tinashe, Chance the Rapper
River - Leon Bridges
Gold - Kiiara
The Rules for Lovers - Richard Walters
Leave a Trace - CHVRCHES
Lemon Eyes - Meg Myers
All I Wanna Say - Lontalius

I'll stop here, for real now. Although I haven't recommended songs in so long, I could honestly keep going and make this ridiculously long post even more ridiculous. But I digress.

The important thing is...
 I'M BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER*

 (*overstatement, but like, whatever)

Singing in the Shower

I'm in college now, so I no longer sing in the shower, as much as it pains me. However, I feel like I could out of sheer joy, because I'm recognizing that I'm making friends and getting acclimated to being away from home, and it's so great I could burst into song. Living in one of the smallest freshmen dorms on campus means that within 3 short weeks, we've all gotten to know each other at least relatively well, and that means that you never have to eat alone in the dining hall, or study by yourself, or be alone if you don't want to be. Today, the girls on my hall spent all afternoon going back and forth between each other's closets borrowing clothes, and shoes, and accessories. It just  made me feel like I was a part of something really cultivating, like we were becoming each other's unofficial sisters and it was a great feeling. I can't wait to spend more time with all of these girls and get to know everyone even better. This year is going to be great.

The other reason I mentioned singing in the shower is because I have SO MANY new songs stuck in my head and I just have to share them with you. Get pumped. :)


House of Gold - Twenty One Pilots [I am fully aware that this song isn't new, but I just learned how to play it on ukulele and I love it. Oh yeah, ukulele is a thing I do now. #college.]

Aquaman - Walk the Moon [the Discover playlist on Spotify that updates weekly is a Godsend. This song sounds like it's from the 80's or something but IT ISN'T and I just love the vibe.Very Wham! meets Sting.]

Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez [This song is like the lyrical version of the entire Pretty Little Liars series, but like, better, and not as frustrating.]

WILD (album) - Troye Sivan [Either you know of Troye, and you're excited about this, or you know Taylor Swift, and you can recognize that she was excited about this. Either way, get more excited because this whole entire album (actually it's an EP but whatever,) is FRICKIN PHENOMENAL. Go listen to it right this very minute. Also, this video for the song "WILD" is amazing.]

Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya [This song is the ultimate anthem for girls who don't want to conform to gender norms and stereotypes, as well as wanting to be badass. Love.]

Nobody to Love - Alex Newell [The newest song to add to your Thursday-Night-Study-Break-Pre-Weekend-Dance-Party playlist. You're welcome.]

Beware the Dog - The Griswolds [I don't really know how to describe this song other than the fact that it repeatedly uses the line "She used to suck the fun out of me" without making any reference to a vampire, which gets it bonus points in my book.]

Mother & Father - Broods [I mentioned this song in my last post, but honestly guys, go check it out and then go call your parents, maybe spend a weekend at home. It just makes you feel all the things, and also want to spend more time with your family and I really, really, like it.]

Crayola Doesn't Make a Color for Your Eyes - Kristin Andreassen [A very acoustic sounding song, but I will bet you $3 that you will find yourself humming it to yourself within an hour of listening to it.]

Hard Out Here - Lily Allen ["Forget your balls and grow a pair of tits./ It's hard out here for a bitch." All you need to know about this song is contained within those two lines. Go forth and be feminist.] [Maybe don't watch this at work or in front of children or the elderly. Just saying.]

Octahate - Ryn Weaver [Ryn Weaver is a person I wish I knew in real life but at the same time I feel like she is way too cool for me. Just watch the music video for this song and you'll know what I mean. Her whole album, "The Fool" is probably one of my new favorites of the year.]

You Don't Love Me Like You Should - Hey Violet [This band opened for 5 Seconds of Summer, and you all know how much I love me some 5SOS, so of course I checked them out. But I didn't seriously start listening to them until recently, after I saw them and 5SOS live in concert about 2 weeks ago. I *love* girl rock bands, and even though one guitarist in this band is a guy, I still give it credit as a mostly-girl rock band.]

Jet Black Heart - 5 Seconds of Summer [I couldn't end this post without mentioning 5SOS at least three times. But aside from having to meet that quota, this song is really good. It's a little slow for my taste but it is so reminiscent of early All Time Low, I couldn't resist. I am so exceedingly excited for their new album "Sounds Good Feels Good," I cannot wait for October 23rd. Yes yes yes.]





ALSO: In the one in a billion chance you haven't seen it yet, here is the music video for Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams," which may or may not whitewash the plains of Africa, but also may or may not have done that on purpose in order to emulate the 40's film era. Decide for yourself. But other than that, the video kills me every time. I'm also 99.99% sure it features Cecil the Lion, which means I'm officially in love with this video.

Craziness in Multitudes

Do you know what one of the craziest things ever is? The fact that you can know someone for only 2 weeks, and feel as if you've known them forever. That is currently what I am experiencing here at college. I live in the smallest dorm on campus, the entire building holding less than 60 people. That means that I know at least half of those people better than I would've in any other instance in my life. I have friends that I've only known existed since August 21st. That's insane to me, the more I think about it.

You know what else is weird? I know how to do laundry now. And decide when I eat my meals. And get myself to and from where I need to be all on my own time. I became a quasi-adult without even realizing it. I kind of like it but I also kind of wish my parents were still around to do the adult-ing for me. It exhausts me if I think about it too much, and I haven't even been doing it that long.

I feel like college isn't so much a process you get used to but an experience that you jump into headfirst, in which you do what you're supposed to do as you are simultaneously learning what it is that you're supposed to be doing. Sometimes it's lonely, and sometimes it's hectic, and sometimes it's overwhelming. Sometimes all I want is to go home and sit between my parents and never leave. But at the same time, I'm surrounded by strangers that are all desperately trying to be friends with each other and it works, weirdly enough. My dorm room feels comfortable already (despite the lack of A.C. and that it's hot as balls outside), my hallmates feel familiar, and my classes have become routine. I never thought I was capable of getting used to something so totally different than anything I've ever done before, but from what I'm learning, college is a place where you learn you're capable of way more than you could've ever imagined.

Here's a song that pretty accurately sums up how I feel when I get a little too anxious about the fact that I'm part of the "real world" now. 

I'm Not in Kansas Anymore

The title of this blog post is misguiding. I've never even been to Kansas. But you get the point. I'm currently writing this post from my college dorm bed, which I am sleeping in for the first time tonight. I'm a little freaked out by all of this new stuff all at one time, you know, over-stimulation and everything. I miss my parents a whole frickin lot, and I miss my room at home more than anything, (especially A.C., good GOD). But also, I am really freaking excited. This is the new chapter that I've been waiting for all my life. I can't wait until everything doesn't feel so new, and I can really begin having fun. I'll keep you posted, though, on whether or not I die from this lack of conditioned air. Other than that, I'm super pumped for college. Here we GOOO (read in the voice of Peter Pan). (Please excuse this utter shit of an article, I am running on bare fumes right now).